Special Agenda Guidelines and Tips
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Marital First Responders
One-Day Training Workshop Outline
- More confidence and effectiveness in helping people in their lives who open up to them about marital and couple relationship problems.
- Sensitivity to boundary issues in the Marital First Responder Role.
- Increased interest in supporting couples in their own lives and in the community.
- More wisdom for their own couple relationships.
9:00 – Introductions and why came (a sampling if a large group, allowing for a late start)
9:20 – Overview
- Origin story.
- Basic idea: supporting marriages and committed relationships in one’s life world.
- Today’s training: challenging scenarios, common mistakes, seven skills and keeping good boundaries.
9:30 – Challenging scenarios already encountered
Question: Think of a situation where you felt challenged in responding to someone in your life who confided in you about a marital/committed relationship problem?
- What was your relationship to the confider and the partner?
- What was the problem?
- Why was it a challenge to you?
Two minutes for writing and reflection. Three minutes to share in pairs.
Pull examples from the group to be used later in the training
10:00 – Basic assessment
Role of the Marital First Responders
Common mistakes presentation
- One minute for self-assessment, share in pairs
- Pool responses
10:45 – Break
11:00 – Level One Skills: L.E.A.P (Listen, Empathize, Affirm, offer Perspective).
- Present L.E.A.
- Role play practice of listening, empathize, and affirm.
Problem 1: he doesn’t participate, listen and emotionally connect with me enough
Problem 2: she is on my case all the time, I can’t do anything right
11:40 – Research Teaching points 1
Noon – Lunch
12:40 – Perspective: role play offering perspective
1:10 – Research Teaching points 2
1:30 – Level Two Skills: C.A.R. (Challenge, Advise, offer Resources)
- Present and demonstrate challenge (after LEAP): use emotional affair example, a friend at work, not telling spouse.
- Present and practice advice (after LEAP): demoralized considering divorce.
2:30 – Break
2:45 – Resources: Recommending help
- practice recommending help.
- Kinds of resources.
- A website for ongoing access to resources.
3:15 – Maintaining boundaries
- Present and discuss
3:45 – Reflections and wrap up
- Next steps.
4:00 – End