Special Agenda Items and Tips

Special Agenda Guidelines and Tips

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Marital First Responders

One-Day Training Workshop Outline

Desired Outcomes

  1. More confidence and effectiveness in helping people in their lives who open up to them about marital and couple relationship problems.
  2. Sensitivity to boundary issues in the Marital First Responder Role.
  3. Increased interest in supporting couples in their own lives and in the community.
  4. More wisdom for their own couple relationships.

9:00 – Introductions and why came (a sampling if a large group, allowing for a late start)

9:20 – Overview

  • Origin story.
  • Basic idea: supporting marriages and committed relationships in one’s life world.
  • Today’s training: challenging scenarios, common mistakes, seven skills and keeping good boundaries.

9:30 – Challenging scenarios already encountered

Question: Think of a situation where you felt challenged in responding to someone in your life who confided in you about a marital/committed relationship problem?

  • What was your relationship to the confider and the partner?
  • What was the problem?
  • Why was it a challenge to you?

Two minutes for writing and reflection. Three minutes to share in pairs.

Pull examples from the group to be used later in the training

10:00 – Basic assessment

Role of the Marital First Responders

Common mistakes presentation

  • One minute for self-assessment, share in pairs
  • Pool responses

10:45 – Break

11:00 – Level One Skills: L.E.A.P (Listen, Empathize, Affirm, offer Perspective).

  • Present L.E.A.
  • Role play practice of listening, empathize, and affirm.

Problem 1: he doesn’t participate, listen and emotionally connect with me enough

Problem 2: she is on my case all the time, I can’t do anything right

11:40 – Research Teaching points 1

Noon – Lunch

12:40 – Perspective: role play offering perspective

1:10 – Research Teaching points 2

1:30 – Level Two Skills: C.A.R. (Challenge, Advise, offer Resources)

  • Present and demonstrate challenge (after LEAP): use emotional affair example, a friend at work, not telling spouse.
  • Present and practice advice (after LEAP): demoralized considering divorce.

2:30 – Break

2:45 – Resources: Recommending help

  • practice recommending help.
  • Kinds of resources.
  • A website for ongoing access to resources.

3:15 – Maintaining boundaries

  • Present and discuss

3:45 – Reflections and wrap up

  • Evaluation.
  • Next steps.

4:00 – End

More know-how to make this successful.